


Maybe it's enough

by choomchoom



Series: Endings & Beginnings [4]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Arguments, Covid-19 Related, Established Relationship, M/M, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choomchoom/pseuds/choomchoom
Summary: The boys deal with the pandemic.
Relationships: Drift | Deadlock/Rodimus | Rodimus Prime, Prowl/Starscream
Series: Endings & Beginnings [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1303613
Comments: 9
Kudos: 38
Collections: Lock Down Fest





	1. Drift and Rodimus

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise content, because I couldn’t stop thinking about what they might be up to during all this. 
> 
> Warnings: this fic directly references the covid-19 crisis in all kinds of ways. The second chapter includes characters actually getting sick, the first chapter does not. This fic also includes characters practicing bad social distancing/isolation etiquette, particularly in the second chapter. There’s also a. lot. of swearing.

The door to the apartment opened just as Drift finished shoving his rice cooker into his duffel bag. He’d had to cram a few packages of tea inside it to fit everything, but the bag had finally zipped.

Ratchet frowned at Drift from the entrance. “Where are you going?”

Drift set his bag down at his side. “Staying with Rodimus. Bumblebee’s back at his parents’, so it’s just Rodimus at his apartment, and we’d both rather be together than totally alone for two weeks. Plus I figured you’d feel better about coming back here to rest if there wasn’t another person around you could infect.”

Ratchet gave a half-smile. “You’re not wrong about that.”

“Can I give you a hug? You have three seconds to say no. Three, two, one.” He waited another beat for Ratchet’s ghost of a smile before stepping in and hugging Ratchet tightly. “Stay safe, yeah?”

“I’ll try if you do.”

“Sounds like a deal.”

“And don’t drive each other too crazy.”

Drift stepped back, picked up his bag, and smiled. “Never.”

* * *

Rodimus was getting on Drift’s nerves, and despite the fact that he was obviously getting on his own nerves too, Drift’s sympathy was getting close to its limit.

“If you’re that bored, I’m sure your internship could give you some more work to do,” Drift suggested in response to one of Rodimus’s increasingly dramatic sighs as he tried to work on his own homework at the kitchen table. “Or you could write an application for the grant Trion forwarded to us last month. Or ask Optimus if you can do any volunteering for him.”

“I have work,” Rodimus whined, dragging his hands over his face. “And I don’t want to do any of those things. If I have to sit in front of the computer for one more second I’m going to set myself on fire.”

“Do one of those yoga videos I showed you. Facetime Bee. Take a nap.”

Rodimus just groaned again, flopping facefirst on the couch.

Drift hoped that would be the end of it, for now. He would have been nicer three days ago, when all of this had started. His own work wasn’t all that urgent, and nothing would go wrong if he took breaks to watch movies with Rodimus and show Rodimus how to cook risotto and listen to Rodimus’s neverending complaints about their situation. But every time he stepped away from work, it took only minutes until he started to get uneasy about the state of the world, and after an hour or so that unease threatened to boil into panic. He felt too fragile to attend to Rodimus’s whims, and work was the only thing that took the edge off.

Rodimus eventually rolled over and turned on the TV, and Drift dug out his headphones to tune out the sound of him restlessly flipping through channels. He worked in peace for another twenty minutes.

“Drift?” The volume of Rodimus’s voice suggested that it wasn’t the first time Drift’s name had been called. He yanked his headphones off and looked – okay, maybe glared – at his boyfriend.

“What?”

“Wanna do something?”

“Not really.”

Rodimus’s eyes widened, pleading. “Please? It’s bad enough being stuck here, but there’s nothing even on TV and I’m gonna lose my –”

Drift shut his eyes. The situation swamped him, and he felt like he could hardly breathe through listening to Rodimus’s petty complaints on top of everything else. “Can you please stop?”

Rodimus recoiled as if Drift had stabbed him, pushing himself up against the far end of the couch. “Sorry.”

Drift rubbed at his temples. “I’m sorry. That was harsh.”

“What do you even want from me?” Rodimus asked, angry now, as if he hadn’t even heard Drift’s return apology.

“I want you to have a little perspective,” Drift snapped, saying exactly what he’d wanted to say this whole time, now that Rodimus had given him an opening. “People are dying. The economy is crashing. It’s all _still getting worse_. I’m sorry you’re bored, but come on.”

“And what are you doing about it?” Rodimus snapped back. “Your thesis going to save the world from coronavirus?”

“Of course not,” Drift said. “But it’s something to do that might have at least a little bit of value, so I’m focusing on that because the other option is drowning in panic.”

“How are those your only options? I’m _right here_.” Rodimus’s voice had started to break.

“You’re not helping!”

“You’re not letting me!”

“Because you’re not even _trying_.”

“I –” Rodimus took a deep, shuddering breath. “You know what? I’m going to take a break. Can we meet back here in half an hour and talk about this?”

Just like that, Drift’s anger and the worse feelings simmering beneath it quieted. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

Rodimus stood up from the couch. Drift’s heart stuttered as Rodimus swiped angrily at his face before closing the door to his bedroom.

Drift shut his laptop and put his head in his hands, swallowing around the lump in his throat. This was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid – acknowledging it, talking about it, thinking about it. He usually trusted Rodimus with the things that upset him, but usually Rodimus wasn’t just as visibly upset at the same time. Usually the things weren’t as _big_. Usually the world wasn’t falling apart around them.

Drift got himself a glass of water and curled up on the couch, which was still warm from Rodimus’s lounging. He hadn’t quite stopped wanting to cry when Rodimus poked his head out of his room, red-eyed himself. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Drift patted the spot next to him and Rodimus sat, hands clenched on his own thighs and eyes on Drift.

Drift uncurled himself and leaned forward to hug him. “I really am sorry. I shouldn’t have taken all that out on you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t respect the way you were coping,” Rodimus said, as if he’d practiced it. He sank into the hug, wrapping his arms tight around Drift.

Drift laughed a little to ease the pressure in his throat. “I don’t know if I _am_ coping. But thank you.”

“We should set up some sort of system,” Rodimus said. “Post-its to stick on your laptop, maybe? Red if it’s okay to bother you, purple if it’s not.”

It was a good idea, but Drift had to ask, “Why those colors?”

“Those are the colors of post-its I have.”

Drift chuckled again. “I’d really like that. And…I can try to be more open. I’m just. Really scared.”

“And you’re not used to having people to talk to when you’re scared,” Rodimus said, moving back to his own couch cushion and taking both of Drift’s hands in his.

Drift winced at the correct assessment. “I can try harder.”

“Don’t push yourself too hard. But…I think we can both try a little.”

Drift finally felt stable enough to meet Rodimus’s eyes again and match his wobbly smile. “I’m really glad I’m isolating with you.”

Rodimus snorted. “I would rather spend time with you while also being allowed to do things, but I’m glad you’re here too.”

“That’s not quite what I meant,” Drift said. “If this had happened pretty much any other time in my life, it would have been so much worse. Even if it was last year, Starscream would probably have burned the house down by now.”

Rodimus laughed. “It’s funny because it’s true,” he said. “In that case, I’m extra glad you’re here.”

Feeling lighter than he had in days, Drift leaned in to kiss him.


	2. Prowl and Starscream

**Starscream, 3:59 AM** : grimy fucking gremlins

 **Starscream, 4:01 AM** : someone from the dorm tested positive & tc touched their dirty little keycard, and he has a cough now. I’ve been in “”””“close contact”””””” with him so I need to self isolate too

 **Starscream, 4:06 AM** : fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fcuk fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Prowl groaned when he woke up to the wall of fucks clogging up his phone screen, and groaned harder when he scrolled back and saw the context. Starscream had been over two days ago, so if Thundercracker actually had the virus, Starscream and Prowl were probably both exposed.

 **Prowl, 7:01 AM** : fuck indeed

 **Prowl, 7:02 AM** : you could self isolate with me

 **Starscream, 7:04 AM** : bad idea. tc never washes his fucking hands, if he has it I do too

 **Prowl, 7:04 AM** : given the incubation period and the fact that the dorms closed a week ago, if you caught it from him you’ve probably already spread it to me

 **Starscream, 7:06 AM** : unfortunately I like you too much to be the reason that you die

Prowl’s heart softened a bit at that, crassness and all.

 **Prowl, 7:07 AM** : in that case, best of luck.

Later that same day, a shelter in place order was announced for the city, which it was high time for. Prowl had been expecting to treasure the uninterrupted time for his projects, but ended up spending most of the first day checking the news and pacing restlessly around his apartment. There had been times when he would have leaped at the chance to have two uninterrupted weeks of his own company, but now that he had it, he was too tense to enjoy or make the most of it.

 **Prowl, 8:36 PM** : would you like to watch a movie together?

 **Starscream, 8:38 PM** : is that a trick question? I’m isolation

 **Prowl, 8:39 PM** : “I’m isolation”?

 **Prowl, 8:39 PM** : and I meant online. Press play at the same time and be on the phone

 **Starscream, 8:40 PM** : … I’m isolation and drunk

 **Starscream, 8:41 PM** : tomorrow?

 **Prowl, 8:42 PM** : ok

Prowl managed to get a little work done after that. It was nice to have something to look forward to, even if his joys in life had been reduced to hearing Starscream’s sarcastic commentary on a movie. He lost interest after a bit, though, scrolled through twenty pages of adoptable cats on Petfinder, then cut himself off and tried to sleep.

There was a brand new text wall of forty-seven repetitions of the word “fuck” on Prowl’s phone the next morning, and he allowed himself a small affectionate smile when he saw it. He sent back a question mark in return and set about preparing, very slowly, for his day.

Starscream called him just as he was sitting down to work, and Prowl reached for his phone quicker than he probably should have. “Hello.”

“Fuck,” Starscream said in lieu of a greeting.

He said it with enough conviction that Prowl actually found himself concerned. “What’s going on?”

Starscream groaned. “I have a fever. I was right about the isolation.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Prowl said. “How are you doing?”

“Fine for now,” Starscream said. “I’m going to cook a bunch of food today so I don’t have to worry about it later in the week when according to how Thundercracker’s been behaving, I’m going to want to die.”

“Let me know if I can do anything to help,” Prowl said, meaning it until Starscream inhaled to respond.

“Watch Kill Bill with me.”

Prowl sighed. “I don’t want to watch Kill Bill.”

“You just said –”

“I _know_ , and fine. I just wanted to register my complaint.”

“Oh.” Starscream sounded surprised that Prowl had actually agreed to his movie choice, which kind of made it worth it all on its own.

“What time?” Prowl asked.

“Five tonight? I should be done with everything by then.”

“I’ll talk to you then,” Prowl said.

Starscream hung up, and it was only when Prowl’s thoughts returned to his own silent apartment that the news really hit him. If Starscream was getting sick now, he’d almost certainly been contagious the last time he’d seen Prowl. That was a lesser concern than the sudden assurance that Prowl was going to be alone in this apartment for the next fourteen days while Starscream recovered and waited out the course of the virus. Fourteen days felt like a longer amount of time than it had ever felt before.

* * *

Over the next week, Prowl got more used to all of it than he’d ever expected to. He and Starscream watched a movie together nearly every night, and Starscream sent him periodic texts full of cheerful complaints about the illness and his roommate.

After about a week, Starscream texted to cancel their standing movie time, having been pulled into some kind of video game tournament with Thundercracker, who was finally starting to feel better. Prowl found himself at a loose end all evening, unable to work, unable to relax, unable to do much other than pace around his apartment and fret.

At one point, he picked up his phone, opened his chain of messages with Starscream, and typed the words _I miss you_. Then he stared at the unsent text for a long time.

Prowl wasn’t used to missing people. Since that awkward few weeks after Starscream moved off of Prowl’s couch when they’d both been too stupid to speak to each other, Prowl had seen Starscream nearly every day. Other people were…easier to put out of mind. They were less crucial to the way Prowl lived.

Maybe Starscream knew that. Maybe he’d take the note that he was missed as the huge admission that it was, and take it more seriously than Prowl wanted him to. Maybe it would even be guilt-tripping for him to send a text like that, when it was so far outside his normal patterns.

And maybe Starscream would laugh. Or be offended by Prowl’s admitted weakness. Of the two of them, Prowl wasn’t even having the worst week. Prowl tried to call up an image of what Starscream’s face might look like if he got that text and started to think along those lines, and to Starscream’s credit, Prowl couldn’t. Still, though, it was unfair to accuse Starscream of having an effect on Prowl’s feelings when he was dealing with so much already.

That settled, Prowl deleted the words and went back to pacing.

* * *

He woke up at one in the morning in the middle of a coughing fit. His head was spinning, and he climbed out of bed to check his temperature and get a glass of water.

Prowl would never have believed that one day he’d grin at the sight of the 101 on the thermometer, especially in the midst of a global pandemic virus that he was almost certainly infected with, but he grinned.

 **Prowl, 1:17 AM** : guess who has corona symptoms

 **Starscream, 1:20 AM** : me?

 **Starscream, 1:20 AM** : kidding. You?

 **Prowl, 1:21 AM** : :)

 **Starscream, 1:22 AM** : emojis? You must be ill

 **Prowl, 1:23 AM** : come over?

 **Starscream, 1:24 AM** : now?

 **Prowl, 1:24 AM** : if you want. You can park in the spot for Unit 18, she’s away all month

 **Starscream, 1:25 AM** : be there soon

Despite the fact that his head was starting to pound from the coughing or fever or something, Prowl grinned down at his phone. Starscream’s immediate acceptance of the proposition was as good as an _I miss you too._

There was a knock on Prowl’s door twenty minutes later and Prowl opened it for the first time in a week. Starscream had his arms around Prowl approximately half a second later, and Prowl barely managed to kick the door shut behind them as they stumbled together into the apartment. 

Starscream was wearing a mask, despite the fact that there was no way he’d seen anyone out at 1:30 in the morning while the city was instructed to shelter in place. Prowl kissed the corner of it and Starscream buried his face deeper into Prowl’s shoulder.

“I missed you,” Prowl said, no longer caring what Starscream read into it. Starscream was stuck here with him, all of him, including the fact that he’d missed him and whatever that meant.

“Heh. I bet you did,” Starscream said, tone soft and fond despite the self-aggrandizing words. It was everything Prowl wanted. Simple acceptance.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe Prowl would regret having Starscream here when his own symptoms started to get worse. Maybe they would end up fighting all the time. Maybe Prowl shouldn’t have been honest about missing him. Maybe the world would never recover from this in ways that Prowl couldn’t yet predict.

But Starscream was here, and Starscream wanted to be here, and maybe, for now, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> there's also a few short oneshots in this au that i won't be posting to ao3 because of their brevity, but i'll link them here:  
> https://choomchoom.tumblr.com/post/186388219002/for-stories-i-would-love-to-see-you-write-more  
> https://choomchoom.tumblr.com/post/190861677147/since-you-asked-for-a-return-platonic-prompt


End file.
